What You Can Do
Tips & Advice
victim_button bully_button bystander_button

 

For Victims

Victims of bullying usually feel rejected, sad, angry, helpless and afraid. Nobody has the right to bully and nobody needs to go through all the pain associated with bullying.

There are a number of people who could be vulnerable to bullying. In general, someone who is different from the majority in certain ways, and as a result stands out among everyone else often gets the treatment. Someone who:

 

Who are the victims?

  • Is a new kid on the block – new in school
  • Is among the youngest in the school – often smaller and insecure
  • Is fat or thin, short or tall
  • Has acne or other skin conditions
  • Has superficial physical attributes that are different from others like big nose or droopy eyes
  • Has physical and/or mental disabilities like autism
  • Has been traumatized previously
  • Is shy, reserved, timid or quiet
  • Is submissive – usually lacks confidence and does things to please people
  • Has behaviors others find annoying
  • Is poor or rich
  • Has a different race, ethnicity or religion that is seen as inferior by the bully

  • Has gender or sexual orientation which is seen as inferior by the bully

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However, in some cases, bullying can happen to anyone who is simply at the wrong place at the wrong time – the bully just wants to vent his/her anger/aggression on someone then and there.

 

 What can victims do to help themselves?

whatcanvictimdo
  • Ignore
  • Walk away
  • Run away
  • Avoid the bully
  • Stay near an adult – for example, sit near the bus driver in the school bus
  • Stick to your friends. Bullies hardly pick on persons who are surrounded by many friends
  • Tell an adult, parent, teacher, counsellor, principal
  • Ask a witness to report the bullying to the adult
  • Talk to a peer mediator
  • Talk to a friend
  • Get an older brother or sister to help you
  • Stand up for yourself: Firmly say “Stop that!”
    – Be FIRM, but NOT MEAN.
    – Be polite when you stand up for yourself (do not use vulgarities or unpleasant tone of voice).
    – Surprise the bully by laughing it off or agreeing with them – when you do the unexpected, you’re in control.
    – If you feel very angry at the bully, calm your anger before talking.
    – If it is not possible, choose to walk away for the moment.
    – Sometimes in a fit of anger victims of bullying have hurt bullies quite badly and got into trouble themselves.

 

Remember

If you are being bullied, it doesn’t mean it is your fault or that there is something wrong with you. Do the right thing that will help you! NOBODY deserves to be BULLIED!

 

For Bullies

Bullies tend to find it difficult to admit that they are bullying people. Bullies might frighten people into being nice to them but that is not friendship. If you are a bully, it is important that you change, even if you like yourself as a bully. Bullies can become better people and have true friends!

 

Why do some people bully others?

  • They may feel miserable because of something at school or home
  • They may feel left out or lonely at school or at home
  • They are irritated by a particular person and do not know how to deal with it
  • They are unable to control their anger
  • They go around with a gang that bullies people
  • They feel thrilled from hurting other people which makes them feel powerful
  • They are bigger and stronger than people of their age and take advantage of this power
  • They were once a victim of bullying and choose to bully others in turn
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How can bullies stop their behaviour?

  • Ask people whom you trust to help you
    Sometimes it is not easy to change on your own. You can GET HELP from your parents, teachers, or school counselor. They may be quite unhappy with your bullying behavior at first – make sure you tell them that you realized your mistakes and that you want to change.
  • Put yourself in the shoes of the victims
    Try to understand how your actions make the victims feel. This will help you realize how much your bullying behavior can hurt others.
  • If possible apologize to the people you have bullied

    Do it privately and do not be too upset if they are suspicious of you; they just need to get used to the “new” you.

  • Try and make amends or at least be pleasant to the people you used to bully
    It might take them some time to trust you if you have hurt them in the past, but don’t be put off, keep trying. After a while they will realise that you have really changed.
  • Anger Management

    Set goals a day at a time and work hard at it! For example: I will not bully Samuel today.

  • If you usually hang out with a group of people who bullies others, get away from them and find new friends
    Explain to them why bullying is wrong and encourage them to stop their behaviour too.
  • Focus on positive things
    like your studies or your hobbies.
  • Take up a sport
    it can help you let off steam when you feel frustrated.
  • Talk to someone that you trust about the problem
    It can be hard to change bad habits, talking to someone will make things easier.

 

Remember

Do not quit trying to become a better person. Remember that bullying hurts others and it hurts you too!

 

For Bystanders

Bystanders can help!!

A bystander is someone who is present when bullying happens. Bystanders have the responsibility to help when they see someone being bullied.

REMEMBER – by not doing anything a bystander is indirectly saying that it’s okay for the bullying to take place.

 

 

How can bystanders help?

  • Offer support to the victim on the spot.
    – Ask the bully to stop.
    – Do not stand, watch and laugh as that gives the bully more power and makes the victim feel alone.
    – Run and inform the nearest adult you can find, and ask them for help.
    – Bring the adult to the bullying scene.
  • Bystanders can also help by making friends with the victim
    – Invite him/ her to join your group and involve that person in your activities.
    – Invite him / her to sit at your table during lunch time.
    – Invite him/her to play in your games during recess.
    – Walk to the bus stop together after school.
  • Reporting bullying is the right thing to do!
    – Inform an adult (your parent, a teacher or the school counsellor) of what you have seen, and the names of the students involved.
    – Give the exact details of what you saw or heard.
    – Do not be afraid to report the incident. When you report you are helping both the victim and the bully. Bullies need help to change their behaviour.
    – If you do not report the incident the bullying will continue.
    – If you are afraid that the bully will get back at you for reporting, tell the adults about your fear and ask them to keep your name confidential.

 

Remember

You should care if another person is being bullied because that person is a human being and does not deserve to be treated that way; and that victim could have been you. Wouldn’t you want someone to help you if you were being bullied?