What You Can Do
Clear Your Misunderstandings

Clear Your Misunderstandings

Conflict is a normal part of life. Sometimes you may get very angry with your friends for various reasons.

For example:

  • Cheats during a game
  • Always insists doing things his or her way
  • Does not keep a very important secret
  • Borrows something and does not return it

 

Often, when these situations happen you will feel very sad and get really upset You may do or say hurtful things. You feel angry and may even think of ending the friendship.

Remember, it is OK to feel sad and angry. But you must choose the right actions that will help you feel better and save your friendships too! The following tips can help you:

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A. Avoid Making Things Worse

  • Do not call each other names that hurt
  • Do not insult each other
  • Do not scream and shout at each other
  • Do not start blaming each other
  • Do not fight

 

B. Tackle the problem when you and your friend are calm

  • If you are angry, walk away for awhile to cool down
  • Take a deep breath and count from 10 to 1(Repeat if necessary)
  •  Drink some water to cool down
  • You can pen down your thoughts too, it will help you clear your mind and manage your emotions
  • Remember to give your friend time to cool down too

 

 

C. Take time to understand each other’s point of view

  • Take turns to say how you feel
  • Talk without raising your voice
  • Listen to each other’s point of view without interrupting
  • Listen actively by nodding your head or repeating when he/she has finished
  • Put yourslef in your friend’s point of view
  • Apologise if you are at fault

 

 

D. Work together to find a solution

  • Think of ways to solve the problem together
  • Note down as many as you can think of
  • Cross out those they both cannot agree on
  • Choose solutions that both are Happy and Comfortable

What is a “Win-Win” Solution?

It is a solution that makes everyone happy. Win-Win is the best because everyone is happy with the final decision. However, everyone needs to work together, accept the decision and carry out what has been decided. Conflict resolution is not easy. It requires a lot of effort.

 

Remember

  • Think about the problem. Don’t let your emotions take control
  • Tell the other person what is bothering you but do it nicely!
  • Listen to the other person. Try to understand how he or she is feeling
  • Avoid name-calling, raising of voice and the use of physical violence
  • Stick to the solutions that you have decided
  • Talk again if the solution is not working. Look for a compromise

If you are unable to resolve the problem yourself, ask for help. You can talk to another friend, a trusted adult; parents, teachers and counsellors.

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